By Daneen James
Do you ever find it difficult to engage the good in your life? You see it, know it’s happening, but it’s like there’s something blocking you from fully feeling it. I can relate. Over the last few months, issues I thought had long been laid to rest, reminded me they were not dead. So even when I had every reason to be happy, I wasn't. Instead feelings of resentment flooded my mind and smothered every other sentiment. Unresolved emotions cover your life like a residue and hamper your ability to authentically access and experience feelings in the moment.
Pain often has levels.
Sometimes what seems like resolution is really an invitation to go deeper until you dig up and disect the root. Here’s a quick test. Say the name of a person (including yourself) associated with a painful memory. What do you feel, what happens when you replay the experience? Your reaction lets you know whether the issue is healed or just hiding. If you can acknowledge the person, subject or event, without a real change in your mood or emotions; even recognize and appreciate how you’ve grown through the situation. Then the issue is likely resolved or at least has been disarmed and is no longer destructive. But if when you hear that name, see the person, recall what they did or are reminded of what happened, your mood shifts, you become anxious or angry, sad or sullen, that’s a pretty strong indicator that the issue remains unresolved.
What it means to move on.
We have the right to mourn and process our feelings at our own pace. But, if we’re honest, there comes a time when our response is less about what happened and more about, what happens to us, if we let it go. Sometimes, we can become attached to our pain, treating it as part of our identity, unsure of how to act without it. One situation, one step, one moment at a time, you can decide to stop allowing pain to be the reason for not progressing beyond past experiences. Each day, often throughout the day, we get opportunities to do life differently. It’s what we do in those moments that matters most. Either we learn to recognize sabotaging behaviors, step outside of destructive patterns and side step triggers or we opt to remain stagnate.
For the most part, we know what to do, but don't always want to do what we know. Growth is hard work and requires conscious, consistent effort. But if you persist, do what you can and know to do, you'll be proud of who you become and well on your way to creating a life that exceeds your best expectations.
Here’s a scripture to encourage you:
Let the Spirit renew thoughts and attitudes. Ephesians 4:23
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Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting
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