By Daneen James 

Do you ever find it difficult to engage the good in your life? You see it, know it’s happening, but it’s like there’s something blocking you from fully feeling it. I can relate. Over the last few months, issues I thought had long been laid to rest, reminded me they were not dead. So even when I had every reason to be happy, I wasn't. Instead feelings of resentment flooded my mind and smothered every other sentiment. Unresolved emotions cover your life like a residue and hamper your ability to authentically access and experience feelings in the moment. 
 
Pain often has levels.
Sometimes what seems like resolution is really an invitation to go deeper until you dig up and disect the root. Here’s a quick test. Say the name of a person (including yourself) associated with a painful memory. What do you feel, what happens when you replay the experience? Your reaction lets you know whether the issue is healed or just hiding. If you can acknowledge the person, subject or event, without a real change in your mood or emotions; even recognize and appreciate how you’ve grown through the situation. Then the issue is likely resolved or at least has been disarmed and is no longer destructive. But if when you hear that name, see the person, recall what they did or are reminded of what happened, your mood shifts, you become anxious or angry, sad or sullen, that’s a pretty strong indicator that the issue remains unresolved.
 
What it means to move on.
We have the right to mourn and process our feelings at our own pace. But, if we’re honest, there comes a time when our response is less about what happened and more about, what happens to us, if we let it go. Sometimes, we can become attached to our pain, treating it as part of our identity, unsure of how to act without it. One situation, one step, one moment at a time, you can decide to stop allowing pain to be the reason for not progressing beyond past experiences. Each day, often throughout the day, we get opportunities to do life differently. It’s what we do in those moments that matters most. Either we learn to recognize sabotaging behaviors, step outside of destructive patterns and side step triggers or we opt to remain stagnate.

For the most part, we know what to do, but don't always want to do what we know. Growth is hard work and requires conscious, consistent effort. But if you persist, do what you can and know to do, you'll be proud of who you become and well on your way to creating a life that exceeds your best expectations.  
 
Here’s a scripture to encourage you:
Let the Spirit renew thoughts and attitudes. Ephesians 4:23
 

For more inspiring messages:
Book Daneen as a speaker:
https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Watch a video: 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RFNfg-fuOM

Connect, subscribe and receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store:  
​https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html


Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting
products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. 

You might also enjoy: 
https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/fight-to-win 

By Daneen James 

We crave our father’s adoration, acceptance and affection. Every woman, at some point was or wanted to be “daddy’s little girl.” And the boy in every man, mimics or mourns the connection with his father. Whether absent or present, dads make an undeniably difference in the lives of their children. As adults we become more adept at disguising it. But the relationship with our father (good, bad, or nonexistent) colors every part of our lives. 
 
From the Beginning
I grew up missing the presence of my dad. As a little girl, I longed for him to spend time with me and make me a priority. But the more he disappointed me and didn’t come through, the more detached I became. Most of my life, I’ve kept people at a distance. Making sure not to get too close or become dependent, so if and when they left, I could easily adapt.
 
The Grace Gap
Ovetime my dad and I reconciled, but the pain didn’t just disappear. It takes work not to allow past hurts to undermine the present good. I couldn’t do it on my own. But as I was willing, God helped me put aside my pain (long enough) to see my dad as a man. A man working through his own issues and experiences. Although my father’s choices affected me, I began to understand, they had little, if anything, to do with me. So we both needed grace. It's grace that builds the bridge between where you are and where you need to be.
 
Reach for Better
My dad died earlier this year. Admittedly, there was a time when this article would have been a barrage of anger about his missteps. But in the days leading up to my dad’s death, I found myself grateful for the time we had, not angry about how much we had missed. At some point, we must learn to resist the reflex to respond based on what was and choose to reach for what could be. Most times it’s not easy, but it’s always worth it.
 

For more inspiring messages:
Book Daneen as a speaker:
https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Watch a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RFNfg-fuOM

Connect, subscribe and receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book:  https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store:
https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html


​Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting
products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. 

You might also enjoy:
​https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/bridge-to-breakthrough
​

By Daneen James 

Years ago, Nike introduced a marketing campaign, that became a motivational rally cry. Even today it evokes a spirit of drive and determination. “Just Do It.” It sounds so simple. But, if we’re honest, we can admit that every day is a battle. A fight to become better than we’ve been. We wrestle within ourselves to prevent past habits and hang ups from sabotaging our path forward. It’s more than physical, this is a spiritual war. Our enemy is formidable and focused. He aims to capture your heart and mind.

Here a some strategies to help you fight to win.  
 
Know your enemy
There is nothing made up or mythical about Satan. He’s very real. You won’t find him walking around in a red suit, carrying a pitch fork. He doesn’t typically advertise his presence. Instead he operates more covertly. He can’t make you do anything, so he floods your heart and mind with suggestions about what to believe and how to behave. Satan’s suggestions always seem to satisfy a desire, fulfill a need or settle a perceived injustice. He works to convince you that acting on his suggestions, though contrary to Christ, is reasonable and right because you “deserve” it and have a “right” to… 
 
Check your blind spot
Satan studies us and finds our vulnerabilities. The areas where we’ve been hurt or wounded. He looks for the places where we are the most accessible. His attacks are specific and uniquely designed to make it difficult for you to resist. He only needs to infiltrate enough for you to ask, what if…, maybe… or, I wonder.  That’s why it’s crucial for you to know the condition of your heart. What are you insecure or unsure about?  Where have you been hurt?  What worries you?  What do you want, crave or covet?  Where do you feel unfulfilled or unsatisfied?  It’s different for each us. Satan is savvy and patient. He’ll wait for the right condition, the right time to set his scene. So, learn your habits, what triggers you? With what and when do you struggle most?  Are there certain times of the day or year that pose particular challenges for you? Do you find it hard to be alone or feel easily overwhelmed by the pressure of other people? Satan watches and waits; his whole goal is to see you fall and be less than you’re capable of being. Don’t let him get away with it. Actively survey your thoughts, emotions and actions. Learn to recognize and sidestep his traps. 
 
Choose the right weapons
Reinforce your life with the only power greater than Satan, the sovereign God. God’s word is true and eats up Satan’s lies. Commit to learning scriptures that speak directly to your life. So, however Satan comes to challenge, you have a response. You can’t do this on your own and you don’t have to. God knew you’d need help. Use God’s word to invoke the same Spirit that resurrected our Savior from the dead.  Don’t wait to feel weak, act now to stay fueled up for the fight. Apply God’s word to every area and situation in your life. Personalize God's word, He's talking to you. So when Satan talks, talk back and not just in your head. Say God's word aloud to force Satan's lies to the light, he can't live in the light.

Hold your ground
Satan doesn't stop, but the fight gets easier. The more you let God in, the more God gets into you and the more your win.  These are a few of my favorite scriptures, they are a source of strength for me. I believe they would be the same for you. 

•  I John 4:4  - Greater is He that’s in me than he that’s in the world

• I Corinthians 10:13 – God will not let my temptations overtake me, He’ll show me a way out

• Matthew 12:29 – Who’s strong enough to tie up Satan, only God

 
​
For more inspiring messages:
Book Daneen as a speaker:
https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Watch a video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RFNfg-fuOM

Connect and sign up to receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book:
https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html 

Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store:
https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html


Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting
​products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. 

You might also enjoy:
https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/keep-it-fresh