By Daneen James When Dreams Don't Come True
You can be whatever you want. If you believe it you can achieve it. Dreams come true. If it’s to be, then it’s up to me. If at first you don’t succeed, then try, try again. The race is not given to the swift, but to the one who endures to the end. I’m sure you’ve heard some, if not all of these phrases. Motivational marvels meant to encourage and propel us forward. As time passes, however, they can become piercing reminders of what wasn’t done and the dreams that weren’t realized. We may still repeat the words, even say them to others. But we secretly think, that ship has sailed. Making Space Now that I’ve sufficiently sucked all the air out of the room and created such a positive and upbeat mood…let me explain. Life has a way of beating you up. We start off hopeful, blooming with potential. Brimming with the beauty of possibility. Then little by little we lose our luster. Disappointment and disillusion can replace our optimistic outlook. We can become frustrated and resentful that the life we wanted, even deserved, may be out of reach. We’d could never stand to admit it and instead camouflage our feelings in pretense and indifference. Resigning ourselves to a routine existence that never allows us to want or expect more. My Life, But Not For Me I can relate. Life seems cruel and limited unless we understand that our life is not for us, but for the one who made us. We’ll stumble around flustered and angry until we’re willing to forgo what we had in mind and accept His plan for our lives. I tried to do it my way. Never really considered or recognized the importance of asking what God wanted from me. But after continually coming up short, I was just tired of fighting. There had to be another way. Open and willing to try life differently, I was ready to say yes to God. Yes, Means Progress Saying yes to God means He has the final say in everything I do. Whether I want to, feel like it or disagree, I follow Him. It means trusting that He loves me, without exception. No matter what it seems like, I know He always acts to make me better, stronger and bring me closer to Him. Because the closer, I am to him, the more fulfilling my life will be. When I let Him lead my life, I experience His promises, which far exceed anything I’ve read or heard. They sustain and elevate me in ways I could never imagine or create on my own. Many of us are frustrated because of what our life is not. But if we’re willing to shift our perspective and open ourselves to ask, God what do you want from me and my life? We’ll find our way to the significance we crave and the fulfillment we seek. Reflect
For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Watch a video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1RFNfg-fuOM Connect and sign up to receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/live-your-light
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By Daneen James Longer than you think.
Though it doesn’t sound like it, 60 seconds is a lot of time. Ever been on hold. Struggled to finish a challenging workout. Waited with anticipation for news about a friend or loved one. A minute is longer than we think. If we pool minutes together, what we accomplish might surprise us. The mind goes where we lead. The brain instinctively acts to create the result we desire. Literally giving everything, it’s got, to give us what we want. Ever notice, when you’re looking for something you've lost, your mind creates several very realistic and viable scenarios of what happened and where you might find your lost item. Tool of focus. The brain uses time is much the same way. Time becomes a tool of focus. Setting a start and end time for tasks helps direct our energy and makes our effort more effective. Not only that, consciously choosing how you spend your time is empowering. You feel like you are making progress, it’s satisfying. Seeing results breeds hope and excitement about the possibilities of other ways you could positively impact your life. Try it. See what happens.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, unsure how you’ll get it all done or aren't particularly excited about doing what you know you need to do. Try this technique. When we use small increments of time to tackle tasks, we are more productive and feel better in the process. For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Connect and sign up to receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/on-the-lighter-side By Daneen James When I think of all the ways my mom has influenced my life, I am overwhelmed. Evidence of her character and courage is abundant. The strength and integrity I so admire in her is alive in me. She gave me an incredible foundation. Yet, I look back at my childhood and wish some things were different. My mom does too. But one indisputable fact remains. My mother loves me and I know it.
Parents Are People After becoming a mother, I came to better understand that parents are people. We have needs and wants and pain that can color the relationships we have with our children. For example, I didn't have the relationship a daughter should have with her father. So, I was determined to ensure my daughter experience everything that I didn’t. While a healthy father-daughter relationship is critical. My feelings were more about me than my daughter. I was projecting my pain on to her. I needed to accept that my daughter was not me. Living vicariously through her wouldn’t fix my broken places. Let Love Lead As women, we've likely had experiences that have hardened or calloused our hearts. Disappointments that make us more distant than we care to be. But once we become a mother, our responsibility is to become the best version of ourselves. We’re called to deal with our stuff and not project it on to our kids. It's our job to give them a better starting position than we had. Ironically, releasing our kids to become who they are activates the power of love to heal the splintered places within us. To every mother, caretaker and woman who answers the call to give a child her best. We CELEBRATE you! For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Connect, subscribe and receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/bridge-to-breakthrough By Daneen James “Live by grace, not perfection”, the words of the sign posted on the back wall of my office. I have a tendency toward overthinking and perfectionism. The sign reminds me not to take myself too seriously and to extend myself grace. Whenever I obsess over something being less than "perfect" or I'm paralyzed by the fear of making a mistake. I look at the sign and literally breathe a sigh of relief.
The Good News Though it's taken me some time to understand. No matter how hard we try, our talent and effort aren't enough. They were never intended to be. Our role is contribution. We can choose how to focus our energy, effort and attention. But God controls the outcome, He's responsible for the results. When we try to operate in God’s territory, we get frustrated, feel stressed and become overwhelmed. Anytime I feel myself drifting into God’s realm, I laugh. It helps me release and reset. In fact, I’ve found humor to be a wonderful tool for maintaining balance in my life. When did you last laugh? Do you remember the last time you laughed? I don’t mean a giggle or a smile. But the kind of laughter that erupts from a place deep within. Forces you on to your side. Tears come down your face. Your stomach muscles hurt and your cheeks ache, but afterwards you feel lighter, like a weight has been lifted. Everything seems just a little better, a little brighter. Do you remember, was it recent? The research is clear, laughter offers a host of mental and physical benefits (https://www.helpguide.org/articles/mental-health/laughter-is-the-best-medicine.htm):
Here's a little encouragement...
Explore and experiment. Do something every day that lightens your mood, then repeat. For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Sign up for Daneen's newsletter and receive updates about her upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/live-your-light By Daneen James God sees you.
He knows the adversity you have overcome. He understands that you’ve endured things you didn’t deserve. That you’ve had many reasons to give up, but you found the courage to keep going. Despite the heart break, challenges, and disappointments that threatened to overtake you. You are still standing. But sometimes what we use to survive in one season can create patterns that keep us stuck, restrict our heart and stifle our spirit in another season. Nothing makes God happier than to see you living the life that He created you to live. He wants to help you reach your full potential, in every area of your life. He wants to help you. He’s extending His hand. Will you take it? Begin by answering these 3 questions (inspired by Dharius Daniels): Where’s the hurt? What was done that shouldn’t have been (feelings of grief, loss and unmet expectations offer clues)? Where’s the hole? What wasn’t done but should have been? Where’s the hazard? What thought or memory keeps tripping you up? What video plays in your mind that you find it difficult to escape? Will you allow God into these areas? Will you choose to accept Christ as the answer to bring you wholeness and peace? Here’s a prayer: Father, there are places where I am stuck. Regrets and resentments cloud my perspective. I have done things for which I'm ashamed. Made areas of my heart unavailable to you. But I want to know your freedom. I invite you into my life, nothing is off limits. Help me give you my broken pieces. Strengthen me to expose my wounds. Give me the courage to be honest, withholding nothing. Then God do what only you can do. Let your love wash over me and lead me to healing. Father, when it gets hard, help me look to and lean on you. For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Sign up for Daneen's newsletter and receive updates about her upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/live-your-light By Daneen James Each of us is uniquely gifted by God. We are never happier or more fulfilled than when doing what we're made to do. So why do we make it so hard?
Here are a few of the lessons I've learned. Unique on Purpose We can misunderstand our "unique" qualities. Dismiss their value and link to our purpose. Our natural inclinations offer clues about the distinct ways we are meant to impact the world. When channeled constructively, our gifts glorify God. One of my "special gifts" is recognizing when something is out of order or needs improvement. Whether it's a crooked picture on the wall, an item that has fallen from a store shelf or the misplaced cart in a store parking lot. It cries out to me and I feel compelled to fix it. Suffice it to say, my "helpful attention" isn't limited to carts and store fixtures. People (myself included) and situations get equal play. Admittedly, I've not always considered my attention to detail a positive trait. It can be exhausting. But I’ve come to understand that God created me to uplift and inspire others. So, I've learned to embrace the beauty in seeing what others miss and consider the desire to leave people and situations better, a gift. A gift that helps me do what God has called me to do. We Get In The Way That being said. The journey to embrace my calling challenges my tendency toward perfectionism and "overthinking". I push for the best possible result in whatever I do. While the pursuit for excellence is admirable. My pursuit for "the best" can be never ending. I always see how something could be better. What should take me days to complete, often takes weeks (sometimes longer) because of my constant refinement and revision. God has made it increasingly clear, that in order to effectively do what He's created me to do, I must get over myself. Greater Is He He’s helped me realize that whatever I do comes through me but is not about me. Yes, I maintain a commitment to excellence in everything I do. But there's no scenario where my efforts, talents and focus alone are sufficient. I need God. So, rather than being so consumed with doing and saying everything right, I make space for God’s Spirit to work through me. Whenever I get fanatical or feel nervous, scared and insecure, I ask God to help me refocus. He calms me. Assures me that He is with me and reminds me to trust His power. When we step out on God's assurance, become vulnerable and do the uncomfortable, He is glorified. People see God in us and reach for the God in them. That's the Creator's plan. Live Your Light Until I was willing to embrace God's plan for my life and accept that my purpose was bigger than the life I was living. I fought the process and sabotaged my progress. Fearful of what living out my potential required, I shrank to stay safe. But the light within me longed to be lived out and I lost the willingness to deny it. Each day we get to choose whether we'll live a life consistent with who God calls us to be. I don't want to leave this world without giving all I have to give. I'm hungry for everything God has for me. How about you? Here are a few ways to live your light:
Make This Your Prayer Today I can’t settle for a life half-lived. Not going to talk myself out of reaching for the dream that shouts to me in the silence. Won’t forfeit another opportunity to walk toward my potential. Refuse to be shackled by the hurdles in my head. Today, I see the truth of who I am. I don’t downplay or diminish my shine. Today, I’m going for it and I’m not leaving anything behind. “The sovereign Lord is my strength, with Him I can do mighty things. He makes me as surefooted as a deer able to tread upon the heights.” Habakkuk 3:19, Psalm 60:12. Now go for it, then repeat. For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Sign up for Daneen's newsletter and receive updates about her upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the SPARKSAFLAME Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/a-matter-of-perspective By Daneen James "When we were utterly helpless, God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners. We have been made right in God’s sight by the blood of Christ. Our friendship with God was restored by the Son." Romans 5:6-11 (NLT)
I read that scripture and I am overwhelmed. God, what made you do it? How can you love me like you do? What am I that you consider me? Despite my best efforts, I’m not always good or righteous. I disobey and disappoint God. I know better but don’t always do better. I mess up and miss the mark. Yet every day God shows me new mercy and extends His grace and gives me another chance. God sees us and knows our inner thoughts, nothing is hidden from Him. He sees the ugly, the selfish and the dark. Yet it’s in our darkest places that He shines His light. His Spirit won’t let us be. It works with His grace to refine us. Even when you walk away, God never does. He wants you. He decided long ago that you are worth it and won’t throw you away. He offers you life, the chance to change and grow. Oh, the possibilities when you listen for and obey His voice. Each time we choose Him, every move we make toward Him, we stand more in His power. This was God's plan all along. There's a song I remember singing as a Kid in church, “I Just Want To Thank You Lord.” Though I haven’t thought about that song in years, this morning I woke up with its words on my lips. “Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. You’ve been so good. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. You brought me out. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. You saved my soul. I Just want to thank you Lord.” I even watched a performance of the song on YouTube. As I listened to the lyrics, my eyes began to water. On Good Friday, the day we commemorate the death and crucifixion of Christ. I am overcome with awe and appreciation. Father, I just want to say, THANK YOU. For more inspiring messages: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Connect and receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Shop the Sparksaflame Store: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/in-his-absence By Daneen James This is an interesting time in our world. Even if you’re not experiencing financial hardship, or facing a health challenge. It’s not business as usual. Your life has likely been altered in some way. Many among us have real and immediate concerns about the days, weeks and months to come. What will happen to their lives, livelihood and families? None of us can predict when we’ll return to work or control the government’s response. No matter how many models or trends we use, there’s no way to anticipate the global impact of the COVID -19 pandemic. But there is something each of us can do. Fight. When feelings of doubt, fear and dread flood your mind and threaten to overwhelm you. Fight to stay expectant of positive outcomes. Resist the urge to be overtaken by despair. Challenge every negative, nonproductive thought and feeling, don’t let them go unchecked. Push yourself to recall positive moments and experiences. Use them as encouragement to keep going. Inherent in every situation is opportunity, this one is no different. Is there a lesson to be learned, perspective or growth to be gained? Take a step back. Regardless of circumstance, look for and embrace the opportunity to learn and grow. It builds character and fortifies faith. Some days you’ll feel stronger than others. Yes, there’ll be moments when you won’t be motivated to move forward. Days that you won’t want to be encouraged. You’ll certainly encounter circumstances that cause you to question and doubt. You’ll likely have instances where you want to blame others and throw yourself a pity party. You might want to throw in the towel. But even when you face situations that drain your energy and tax your spirit. Faith falters and you're caught up in a sea of negative thoughts and emotions. Don’t just give in and throw your hands up in surrender. Reach for hope. Remember nothing in life lasts for all time. You have faced crisis before. You’ve overcome adversity in the past. Though pressed on every side you were not defeated. You’re still standing. You will get through this. Not just survive but thrive. Encourage yourself daily. Every day act to feed your faith. Overtime you’ll create a reserve that feeds you when you need it most. You may sink, but not as low as before and you won’t stay as long. Here are a few ideas to help feed your faith:
Faith feeds faith. The more you do the thing you know is right. The more you’re convinced that what you’re doing is right. Get more on this and other topics: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Connect and receieve updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Feed someone’s faith with a card: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/keep-it-fresh By Daneen James In the wake of the COVID 19 global crisis, we're more aware than ever, life can change in an instant. Suddenly, the life we knew has been suspended, indefinitely. What we planned, wanted and hoped to do must be deferred or at least altered. Yet, inherent in every crisis is opportunity. This crisis is no different.
Inevitably, during this time, most of us will likely take some time to reflect, assess and examine our lives. When you look closely, you'll see a crossroads. An opportunity to make decisions that can be a turning point in your life and our world. What will you do? How will you choose? After reading the stories below, you may think differently(https://www.marcandangel.com/2015/08/19/30-quick-stories-that-will-make-you-think-differently/). Life Lesson On his 27th birthday a young man wrote a suicide letter. He was ready to go through with it, when his girlfriend showed up at his apartment and told him she was pregnant. She saved his life. Suddenly he felt like he had something to live for. Today, that young man's pregnant girlfriend is his wife. They have been happily married for 19 years. And the baby, his daughter, now a 21-year-old college student, has two younger brothers. Every year on his birthday, the man re-reads his suicide letter as a reminder to be thankful – thankful he got a second chance at life. The Heart Goes On Nearly five years after her husband’s death, a woman receives an unexpected knock at her front door. It was a beautiful couple and their three kids. The man smiled and said, “Your husband was my heart donor. He saved my life. Not a single day has gone by that I don’t pray for him and think of you. Thank you! " From Where I Sit There was a group incoming freshman on a tour of their "soon to be" college campus. Amongst the group was a young man in a wheelchair. He was exceptionally friendly and never stopped smiling. His positive energy was absolutely contagious. The group learned after the tour that he had a scholarship to play basketball before a car accident left him paralyzed from the waist down. When asked about the accident, he responded, “It didn’t ruin my life, it just changed my circumstances. I’m happy to be here with you right now, with so many opportunities in front of me.” What matters most A woman rushed to the hospital after getting a call from her twin sister. After being in a coma for almost a year, her sister was still weak but surprisingly coherent. The siblings spent the entire night together, talking and laughing. The woman was elated to share the holiday season and enter the New Year with her sister back at her side. You'd never know a month before the accident, the twins got in a ridiculous argument and didn’t speak to each other for that entire month. Today, neither one of them can even remember what made them so angry. Joy from Pain During a conversation with his daughter, a 71-year-old dad talked about living and growing through adversity. He said, “It’s been my experience that most people aren’t truly happy until they’ve had many reasons to be sad. I believe it's because it takes all of those bad days and hardships to teach us how to truly appreciate what we have. It builds our resilience.” The Best You A woman recalls the relationship advise her grandfather gave her more than two decades ago, “Honestly, the moment I stopped trying to find the right woman, and started trying to become the right man, your grandmother walked up to me and said, ‘Hello.’” The Truth of Life While interviewing a terminally ill woman for a school project, a high student tentatively asked “What is it like to wake up every morning and know that you are dying?” “Well,” the woman replied, “What is it like to wake up every morning and pretend that you are not?” This life is not forever, every moment we get is a gift. God willing, though unprecedented and uncharted, this time will pass and fade into memory. In the meantime, there are lessons to be learned. Lessons of how to live and love differently, better. Reminders to pursue lives that reflect our purpose more fully. Lessons of how compassion feeds and elevates our spirit in such extraordinary ways. Here are a few ways to make space for the lessons of this time:
Get more on this and other topics: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Sign up for her newsletter, get notified when Daneen’s latest book is available for purchase: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Brighten someone's life with a card: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. You might also enjoy: https://www.daneenjames.com/blog/in-the-light-of-hope By Daneen James Kindness is a game changer. Be inspired by these stories about the life-changing impact of kindness (https://www.rd.com/true-stories/inspiring/kindness-strangers/). Then brighten someone's day with one of the 20 random acts of kindness, listed below, that take 2 minutes or less and don't cost a penny(https://www.rd.com/advice/relationships/free-random-acts-of-kindness/).
Supermarket Flowers When the supermarket clerk tallied up my groceries, I was short $12. I began to remove items from the bags, when another shopper handed me a $20 bill. “Please don’t put yourself out,” I told him. “Let me tell you a story,” he said. “My mother is in the hospital with cancer. I visit her every day and bring her flowers. I went this morning, and she got mad at me for spending my money on more flowers. She demanded that I do something else with that money. So, here, please accept this. It is my mother’s flowers.” – Leslie Wagner, Peel, Arkansas. Waiting in the Wings I'm a middle school teacher. After four weeks of recovering from the devasting loss of my first child. I walked into my empty classroom and turned on the lights. Glued to the wall were a hundred colored paper butterflies, each with a handwritten message on it from current and past students. All of them had encouraging messages: “Keep moving forward,” “Don’t give up on God,” and “Know that we love you.” It was exactly what I needed. – Jennifer Garcia-Esquivel, San Benito, Texas Lost and Found I forgot about the rules on liquids in carry-on luggage, so when I hit security at the airport, I had to give up all my painting supplies. When I returned a week later, an attendant greeted me at the baggage area with my paints. He'd kept them for me and he had looked up my return date and time in order to meet. – Marilyn Kinsella, Canmore, Canada. The Promise I saw a dress in a consignment shop that I knew my granddaughter would love. But money was tight, so I asked the store owner if she could hold it for me. “May I buy the dress for you?” asked another customer. “Thank you, but I can’t accept such a gracious gift,” I said. Then she told me why it was so important for her to help me. She’d been homeless for three years, she said, and had it not been for the kindness of strangers, she would not have been able to survive. “I’m no longer homeless, and my situation has improved,” she said. “I promised myself that I would repay the kindness so many had shown me.” She paid for the dress, and the only payment she would accept in return was a heartfelt hug. – Stacy Lee, Columbia, Maryland Actions Speak Louder Than Words Children were playing at the recreation area of an IKEA store when my five-year-old granddaughter motioned for a small boy to stop. She knelt down before him and retied his flopping shoelaces—she had only just learned to tie her own. No words were spoken, but after she finished, both smiled shyly, then turned to race off in different directions. – Sheela Mayes, Olla, Louisiana. A Healing Touch When my husband died unexpectedly, a coworker took me under her wing. Every week for an entire year, she would send me a card saying “Just Thinking of You” or “Hang in There.” She saved my life. – Jerilynn Collette, Burnsville, Minnesota It only takes a moment to make an impact. 20 random acts of kindness that take 2 minutes or less and don't cost a cent:
Inspired? Try some of your own. Get more on this and other topics: Book Daneen as a speaker: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Connect and receive updates about Daneen's upcoming book: https://www.daneenjames.com/contact.html Brighten someone's life with a card: https://www.daneenjames.com/shop.html Daneen James is an inspirational author, speaker and develops uplifting products and media through her company, SPARKSAFLAME. |
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